Okay, so I didn’t so much find my main thing, as I made it. Yesterday.

I enjoyed my owl stop-motion so much, that I wanted to make one with oreos. Rather, an oreo monster, that becomes cannibalistic, kills the army men, and then ends up in a nice bath. What fun!

The…

I feel so fancy having vimeo videos. I mean, legit people have vimeo videos. People with real cameras and fancy apartments and bikes have vimeo videos. And now I’m kind of one of those people. 

Bitches. 

And I love the Snakes on a Plane bit. 

And I’m so excited that you’re going to be here in… five days and nine hours. 

dear hooker face madge,

i thought the pregnancy pact was going to be so much better than it actually was….damn lifetime. 

i’m plotting a texas trip as we speak. huzzah.

just found out i have been selected for a random drug test at work. not legit. said my uterus was bleeding. am going to pretend have super human 2 week periods. am going to drink more water than aqua man. fuck fuck fuckity fuck. 

not pleased with this turn of events.

also, think little boy who may be a girl stole my juggling sticks at play practice tonight. i am going to lynch him.

bitchin.

love,

hooker face imogene

Dear Hooker Face Imogene,

I’m going to need you to go ahead and come to Texas.

I need to you play roulette with me.

All I can imagine is us yelling the numbers that were betting on, and getting noise complaints.

I really want to play…

You should watch The Pregnancy Pact.

I’m about to.

It’s a wonderful Lifetime movie about a group of girls who get pregnant in highschool.

So I can’t wait to see it.

Look! It’s like Disney! And I was the one cleaning that costume and putting it together!

OH MY GOODNESS!

I WANT THE RAPTOR SHIRT.

NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Full from eating a lot of avocado,

Hooker Face Madge

dear hooker face madge,

gunther is still missing from my life. so sad. i am making do with cornelia. she is my new phone. but sadly. not an iphone. just a gophone. with no google or facebooking capabilities. also, i can’t check tumblr…..so sad. i don’t have solitare or any games. my life is so depressing right now.

the good news is, i solved your puzzle and have your number, which makes me super happy! 

tonight i went crazy on my little sis and called her 27 times because i thought she was ignoring my call.

psycho me has emerged.

love,

hooker face imogene

Dear Hooker Face Imogene,

Look, a game in order to figure out my number!

When it fell, it would freeze into hard little hobnails of ice-____, and that would be the end of the world! And the end of the interview too! Goodbye! -Cat’s Cradle

You shot her in the ass with about ____ ounces of horse tranquilizer. -Arrested Development

The ____ hour, Michael. It’s the end of the line. I’m the firstborn. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. [thinks for a moment] There are six things I’m mad about, and I’m taking over. -Arrested Development

I thought I was gonna be the first FunSpot kill screen, and then I had _____ fireballs trap me, I had the hammer in my hand, they still got me. So anything can happen in Donkey Kong. -King of Kong

Nana’s fine, she’s been dead for ___ months. -Arrested Development

MILF Island? 25 super hot moms, 50 _____h grade boys, no rules. -30 Rock

Even if you were right, that would be ___ plus one plus two plus one, not one plus two plus one plus one. -Clue

There was, oh my God, a themed nightclub called Henry the _____h’s. This was incredible. It had the Anne Bol-inn Alley, this is true, as you went into the loo, there was a sign that said mind your head, nice, and underneath someone had written “And don’t get your Hampton Court.” It’s not there any more. But not a day goes by that I don’t think about it. -The Office (BBC)

So what I’m understanding here is that you’re not gonna give me any money. So I’m basically left with nothing. I’m left with ____… I can’t do anything with it! I mean this is my life we’re talking about here; we’re not just talkin’ about—something else, we’re talking about my life. And you’re forcing me to do something I don’t want to do—to leave. To just pick up and say—make a clean cut here and say, “No way, Corky, you’re not gonna put up with these people.” And I’ll tell you why I can’t put up with you people. Because you’re bastard people. That’s what you are; you’re just bastard people. And I’m gonna go home and I’m gonna, I’m gonna bite my pillow is what I’m gonna do! -Waiting For Guffman

When I have to watch that pile of _____ tapes over there for Dwayne Richards’ two-day Nibbler performance, that’s 48 straight hours of paying attention and making sure he’s doing everything correctly. -King of Kong

Wanting to now watch King of Kong,

Hooker Face Madge

dear hooker face madge,

i’m supposed to be at work today, but i don’t feel like it, so i’m watching bad t.v. and being sad because gunther was stolen.

my life is ruined.

i relied 100% on my personal assistant/phone.

damn thief! if i get the chance i will kill you.

here’s what i need to know, where in texas do you live so i can start planning my visit visit visit! also, you should give me your phone number again, through facebook or something so i can text you when i get a new telephone. 

i refuse to watch the real world, because i think that is false advertising.

love,

hooker face imogene

This is what I want my tattoo to look like.

Ice-T would be so proud.

also, this is what i think of everytime haiti is mentioned. the part i want starts at 4;14

Dear Hooker Face Imogene,

We have a brown couch.

And now we have cornstarch all over it.

Can you see it? I’m pointing to it.

Right there.

BAH! FUCK!

I had a stalker.

Or still have a stalker.

He’ll probably read this.

And then leave messages on my phone crying.

Or complaining about the painting that I didn’t send him, despite refunding his money.

Crazy.

Absolutely you can come visit.

Scratch that.

Absolutely you MUST come visit.

Photo album title?

The best.

But I’m incorporating it into the title of the reunion.

Hooker Face Reunion 2010: I Want To Hold Them Like They Do In Texas Please.

You might notice my facebook status.

This is happening.

Feeling dumpy from eating pancakes, but absolutely ready to make some cupcakes,

Hooker Face Madge

why so blue panda bear? why so fucking blue?